Kid Badical

I was going through some of my favorite books the other day and began thinking about my first chapter book. (which there's another blog for that) From there on, this girl could not be stopped when it came to reading. I advanced quickly when it came to books with words. Luckily, I had a mother who loved books also, so they were never low in stock. My mother bought them constantly at garage sales. Many titles I'm sure she didn't even look at. Which opened a dark door for me, I crawled through it at a young age. It's true, I did. I survived and will now grace you with a true tale of a young, sweet and innocent book slut.

I was in third grade, we may have been on Spring Break. I had access to, what I thought at the time, risque material. Now, I'm not talking any skin mags here, people. It was more along the lines of almost Rated R for books. Being the upbringing we had, this was pretty graphic stuff. So any how I was always perusing through books, trying to find something to read. Because if you looked hard enough you would always find a really good one. So, so true with our books. One day, I came across this book that was SO for adults. I remember reading it, then hiding it from my mother when she came into the room. I knew it then, damn it, that that book was no good. It was about a lady being possessed by demons. Terrible, bad ones! Well, are they ever good? They tortured her and you can imagine the detailed 80's cult, scary, punch it had, right? I'm talking demon rape, demon wedding, demon beatings, etc. Well, my little bad self is hooked. I'm reading and re-reading the most violent parts, confused by some the word usage, words I've never seen before...WOW! I finish this sinful book and begin to read it again. Hoping at some point, that a few of these words will make sense. Maybe if I read slower, they will make sense. Doesn't help. I mean, I knew these demons were calling her some bad names, some I knew. But the other ones are what stumped me, the unknown words. Hmmm..... Time to ask a sister.

I find the nearest of four, the most rebellious one. Cammy. She's cozied up to a mirror, slathering on her twelfth coat of foundation, spraying her hair 'til it's totally stiff, and still able to roll her eyes at me as I walk in the room. I can tell she's very annoyed with my presence, I try and make it quick. I stumble over my words as I begin to tell her. Found a book in the book shelf, the words aren't making sense in the sentences sometimes; no, mom doesn't know I'm reading it; it's no big deal, I read her books all the time; I'm just curious.... She asks what is one of the words, but instead grabs the book. I reply, "C*nt.". I should have known when that fat cat smile spread across her face. But I assure you, I was an innocent thing. So when she tossed the book back at me, rolled her eyes again, and said, "I don't know. Go ask Mom.", I honestly thought that it may have been a medical term or something. I mean, I didn't know this word, it had to be official.

I knew where to find mom. In the kitchen. Beans, rice, torillas, beans, rice, tortillas and repeat. She has her back to me as I begin to ask if she'll explain a word to me. What book, what word she asks. I feel guilty even writing this now, my poor mother. "C*unt.", I begin. I'm not sure my mother had even turned her body around, but that book was in her hands with incredible stealth. She still hasn't turned around yet, but I can hear her flipping through the pages. I'm nervous. She finally turns to face me and it's my worst fear. If the Dahmer murders were in the 80's, my mother would have thought I was in pre-Dahmer stage, I'm sure. She begins to quiz me on all the whys to my actions. The book is still in her hands; she's still abusing the pages now. She's tossed it in the trash about a dozen times, only to retrieve it, rough up the pages some more and slam it back in. Finally,after she was done with me, I was let go. She probably called her prayer partners later........and she had every right. Because when she left that kitchen, I dug that book out of that trash and threw it away when I was done with it.